Fwaaah~! I'm a bit p*ssed and don't ask why. It's about school. Pweh!

Tapos na term namen! Wee~

Last night, dad and I talked about his new idea and that "project" I'm supposed to be researching about. >.<
Well... it's confidential so I'm not going to mention other details.

My mom also brought the news of well.. "that previous guy" that, as they know, "gave up" to my dad. As usual... daddy had no facial reaction... but then he gave me a Samsung e760 phone. XD It's got that "shake" feature. Mwehehehe...

Mom also said that I might be going with dad to China sometime soon.

I also went to Stu's birthay "bash" at the Providence Tower. Half of my block was there and some of Piggy's barkada (they are friends of Stu as well). It was so much fun with the kareoke showdown. We selected songs that reminded/symbolized/described the people there. There was even a boyband showdown. Our group was to sing songs by Westlife but we ended up with Barbie Girl by Aqua instead. I didn't sing... the rest of the group didn't dare sing it... just my Wu Tsai Won (Piglet). lol I'm so proud... it takes a real man to sing that. XD I'll be making my new layout for September. Hehehe... I'll be archiving this page as well.

I am now a fan of Niki Sanders! She raaaaks with her dual personality. It kinda reminds me of Bates and Alyssa of Clocktower. Alyssa's this gentle girl but when she's in danger, she turns into Bates.
So Resident Evil: Extinction's going to come out soon, eh? I can't wait! :3 It's my must-see movie after Nancy Drew early this September. I wonder how Ali Larter will fair with the previous heroine. I also tried the RE3 game. Rarararar... I finally got to buy that photo frame I've been meaning to buy from 168.
Hmm... sometimes I still get depressed upon remembering Hammy... *sigh* I miss her.
And I <3 Bani

*sigh* I had our househelp bury Hammy beside her family. It's a bit... awkward without her and Freya's saddened as well.
And my other anak. Tsk, what a pity you fell inlove with an @^*#*&# as well. Those worthless leeches are just like that. How I wish you'd see what I already saw. If you're reading this, anak, and I hope you are. You need to see that it's all just a facade. Whatever he's showing you or to other people is just a selfish act to boost him up. It's called social-climbing or using. Remember how he womanizes and then points that it's your mistake since he hates it when you attack the girl? Or when he says that he did it with the girl because he's jealous of your fanboys? Believe me, my child, they're just lies to save himself. He doesn't want to be responsible for his own actions and he actually wants you to take the fall. He made his mistake by his own decision and you have nothing to do with it. My dear child, whatever you see in him, it's an illusion... if you like him for his "talents" then you should also see that you hate him because he doesn't know how to value you. Whatever you see in him that you like, see that it's cancelled out due to his negative traits. My dear, think of it this way... do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn't even know what responsibility and commitment is? If you think he's change, think again. My dear, once a cheater is always a cheater. If he womanizes again, do you think he'll make the same mistake that allowed you to find out about his infidelity? You realize that you were just lucky that your whore ex-bestfriend accidentally mentioned that she had ... with your guy. Do you think he can't lie to you again... when he already kept it from you before you knew? Tsk, tsk... my dear... I hope you see it my way. God knows you don't deserve him. It's why He took the *$#@ away and gave it to a slut that deserves an &$#% like him. Remember that God knows best and that He does things for a good reason. Also keep in mind that when God takes away something, He's just replacing it with a better one. I've already given you a good example, my dear. As I've said... I know what you're going through... and my dear, it's not love... it's just commitment. When your wounds heal, you'll be disillusioned and you'll realize that you are really blessed because there are more people who love you... see it this way, my dear... we love you... he doesn't. He's just one... we're... a lot. See that he doesn't love you like we do. Anak, whatever achievements/greatness of his you see... don't be fooled... they're all a facade to hide his rotten core that he keeps hiding from the the public and/or even his friends... it will all turn out worthless if you marry him. When you're free... you'll see this. Until then, my child... I pray that you see the silver lining.

<3 rest in peace, Hammy <3 - erm... hehehe... this is for my hamster. :3

Just a few hours ago, Hammy aka "apo", my lone hamster died a probably painful and brutal death. I let her explore the house since she was safe in her running ball. I took a bath and on my way to my room, I saw an empty running ball. I instantly put on my clothes and looked for her. I had a hunch that she’d be in the backyard since our dogs had a little commotion. I went outside… and when I looked over at Daphne’s corner… I saw a small white, furry object. It wasn’t moving… from that point on… I knew how she died. She was always alone since her brother and aunts have died. All her other relatives are elsewhere. She was Freya’s new playmate just a few days ago. She was always in her corner… alone… just sleeping out of boredom. Piggy bought her a running ball so she can finally go out… like she always wanted… I don’t know if it’s because of Alana’s damages to the ball that’s why she got out or… someone set her free… it seems odd… the way she got out. The ball was secure no hamster could open that. It was specially made for her kind so they can’t open it. And why is the lid far from the ball itself? No point in going over this… she’s joined her family. I don’t even know how she really died since there was no teeth marks or dents in her body. But she was wet… *sigh* well… that cage will be empty…I love you, Hammy. I hope you’re in a better place. I’ve always prayed for you along with the other pets… you’ll still be in my prayers along with the others who have passed. I am in deep sorrow of your passing since you were always the first creature I’d see in the mornings… and I always turned the lights on for you since it was pitch black during midnights for you. Let me light one more light in memory of you tonight. May it serve as your light even when it has expired. You were a good animal companion… and may this event bring you closer to God and to your family. May you be happier now than before and may you never feel lonely again. I love you, please remember that even if you’re gone because I really do love you. *sniff* It was all so sudden… one moment you were happily running around the house… the next…. *sigh* and you just got the hang of that ball…

Rarararar! I've been in a bad shape, lately. :( The recent storms have given me a bad cold, cough and sore throat. I've been coughing like hell the whole week. Piggy's taking care of me. The good thing is that I'm recovering pretty fast. He's been reminding me about my meds (since I often forget about them) and referring some Chinese remedies he knows. o.O The bad thing is that he really watches what I eat. He starts nagging (or oinking) whenever I crave for chips or mojos and even the "Oreo Afraid of the Dark?" from Cerealicious. He's really strict. >.< He goes "Bunny!! May vetsin 'yan! Bawal sa 'yo! Paano ka gagaling 'nyan?! Sige ka pag 'di ka gumaling agad, hindi ka makakapag-cerealicious. Oink oink oink oink oink oink..." O.O This morning, we were supposed to have breakfast. Unfortunately, I had to go to school at around 10:30 because of the color coding. Since it takes 30 minutes to get to DLSU from our house, I arrived there at around 11:00. My class starts at 11:20 so I asked my chubby piglet to buy me food so I can just eat it on my way to class. We agreed that he was going to buy chips but when I arrived at school, he gave me Dewberries because "Nakalimutan ko na may ubo ka nga pala bawal chips." I scowled, of course, because I really miss eating chips but it was really nice of him. I feel so loved T.T. We ended up eating at the canteen. o.O

I also saw my best friend, Lea. Ermm... you really should avoid the pool now. o.O I thought you went to the beach in the middle of the term.
*sigh* I need to think of a good gift for my mom? It's my mommy's bday.

I think it's our last week for the term. T.T I'll only be having MWF classes next term. Mwehehehehe...
Bani is soooo cute! Last Tuesday, I was letting her stretch her legs and explore the area. It so happens that she runs near the door sometimes. I decided to lock the door. When she saw me in the are she decided to charge at me... and follow me... so we played tag. She is so cute! *hugs Freya*

Hammy's cute too, she created her own nest and she just eats and sleeps. She piles her food beside her nest and whenever she feels like eating, she'll just stretch her neck and nibble on a carrot without getting up and when she's done, she just... curls up and sleeps again (lazy). She's also the only hamster I know that doesn't know how to use a hamster wheel. >.< it's sad...

Weee~! The event is this Sat at Mega... I've already told my mom about it. Will be going with a pig and my bestest friend :) ( <3 u, kins). =P We're going to eat at Sbarro! XD White cheeeeeese and bubble tea! >.< I'm going to see if I can find a toy that will allow Hammy to explore the house with Freya. >.<
*Note:
I clicked on the link of the poser in my previous post. I think there's an error so I editted it. >.< *

@Aya
Hmm... which sister? :)
@Mommy
It's ok, Mami. :)

T.T After being treated to The Spa for my birthday, I've been feeling very heavy lately. I always doze off while talking to Piggy without even knowing it. I feel like I'm in drugs o.O. Mind you, I'm not a drug addict. I had a taste of their ginger tea and it was... sweet but a bit tangy. I loved it.

On night before my birthday, Piggy gave me a cake and his gift (a huge stuffed, white pig with chinky eyes and a pink snout ( I I ). It looked exactly like him (bulging tummy and all). Anyway, my mom asked me if the ******* gave it to me and I told her that it was Jd. Naturally, my mom asked why she hasn't been seeing "him" around. I told my mom the real story that "nag-sawa sya" but my mom told me "Bakit sya magsasawa eh gabi-gabi kayo nagu-usap sa telepono?! Magsawa sya kung hindi mo sya pinapansin!" so I told her na the ******* actually found another girl and she said "Ah! Ayun! Akala ko ba sabi nya magi-intay sya after college? Pabigay-bigay pa sya dyan ng cake at flowers tapos ganun ka na lang pala nya ibabali-wala?! Hay nako! Mabuti naman at wala na kayo. He doesn't appreciate your value... and something about boyfriends etcetera, etcetera... (I forgot kung ano pa sinabi nya >.<)" Now she wants to see Piggy. >.< So the news actually spreaded in the family and if it reaches my relatives... well... let's hope not. My first sister came the next morning to celebrate with us and erm... that's when mummy announced the news to the whole family. I can't forget my big sister's comment "That's ok, I never really liked him anyway. He looks like an Igorot. (Uhm... I think he's too tall to be one /swt) The fiance of my sister reacted to her comment (Kuya Wil is actually a pure Filipino), he felt that the insult was also applicable to him. I laughed at the sight of my family exchanging opinions but I soon went to my room because Piggy was waiting on the phone. Later on, my mom told me that Kuya Wil wanted to talk to me... well we didn't get the chance to talk but my mom said that he also commented on the incident when my mom relayed (or exposed in this matter) the story. Kuya Wil apparently said something like "Lalake ba yan? Sasabi-sabi sya na maghi-hintay sya tapos hindi nya paninindigan?" Hmm... I don't know if it's true but I think Kuya Wil wanted to punch his face. >.< The fact that my family knows that he's gone and that Piggy exsists is very relieving. Hmm... I've moved on already (yes, I'm serious about this) but hmm... is it normal to feel hate because of what he did? Hmm... I'll dwell on this issue next time (which will hopefully be the last) especially since it seems that they're making up stupid/weak stories that I was the reason of the break-up because I was overjealous... wait lang sabi nung babae mo na ang sabi mo "time" ang reason ng break-up bakit ngayon, kinakalat nyo overjealous ako? Ano yan? Kasama mo sya sa kasinungalingan mo? Hahaha... tsk, tsk... making up stories to save your reputation eh?

Setting that aside, THANK YOU SO MUCH to all those who greeted me. :3 The TLS A&G members, my community friends, my barkada in highschool, family, Team* friends, blockmates, friends, soul sisters and to those people that I don't know but greeted me... thank you. :)

Erm... a few days ago, Ethel GMed about a poser. Hmm... I really don't have anything against posers. I think it's actually flattering. No, I don't mind people using my picture in accounts as long as they don't go too far. Even my relatives grab my photos so they can show it to people... it's really heartwarming knowing that your family is proud of you. Apparently, this one befriended my relatives. >.< No wonder they were telling me that I already accepted them (I don't remember accepting their requests). I don't know if there are others but Piggy tells me that he encountered one waaaaaay back then was named Serendipity something and used my photos. Apparently, he bashed her. >.< So I don't know if she still uses my photos.On Ethel's case, hmm... the girl flirts with guys... I think the poser should be dealt with.

*whew* finally, the week is done. Today was busy, busy, busy. After the "vacation" period, all the work seemed to cram up. The teachers are all hurrying. It seems like there's going to be a lot of work next week and it's my Piggy's birthday and our anniv next week. T.T Foretunately, me and my family went to Greenhills yesterday and I saw a great gift for my little piglet. The thing is... I have to go there again before his birthday. *sigh* We also had our meeting in TLS, I'll be a resident layout artist for the next issue and I'll also be doing some of the infographics (yey~!). I can't post my entry yet for the Wednesday that just passed and it's such a good entry too... I'll just upload it soon. T.T

IF the following seems to be offending.. my apologies... I think
kung ikaw ang pinaka walang kwentang tao sa buong mundo wag mo na basahin posts ko sa blog na toh..
mag mukmok ka nalang sa ate mo :)
so yey~ malapit na ma complete ang aking pag momove on.. at least it will only take me about two months.. that's a good thing.. I guess ganun tlga sya ka worthless na.. we talked a while ago, and he was, as usual, being the @$$#0L3 that he's turned into.. They we're alone in the girl's apartment.. He said they we're trying to construct something..hehehe.. I asked him if I really deserved what he did to me (ie cheating etc..). He said no. I asked him if what I gave him wasnt enough, but that wasn't the case either.. I was trying to squeeze the truth from him and he said "gusto mo malaman?" "Nagsawa ako!" Yes it was a bit depressing but then I realize that I should just sit back now at panoorin silang pagsawaan ang isa't isa. *LOL* kung sa bagay the guy told me that he was heartlesS, so I guess trip lang niya talaga yung girl ngayon. Well, naging ganon rin naman siya sakin eh. Trip niya lang. So I see myself now laughing my arse off soon because I have no doubt that the same thing will happen to the girl and probably worse and the thing is she saw it coming. tutuklawin na siya ng ahas at hahayaan lang niya.. People warned her about it and she didn't learn from other people's mistakes, so frankly she deserves what's going to happen to her soon and what already happened (I wonder what we're they really constructing).I don't see how any self respecting person who's supposedly not entertaining the courtship allows herself to be completely alone with a maniac who has intentions at her. She's like a sitting duck and she placed herself there. If it's not called stupidity then you know what it is called. I know how the maniac thinks when he wants something so I really doubt his presence there.

Another thing, I've read mommy rien's posts and haha I completely agree. So now I don't see the point of trying to fix the situation because they're leading themselves into their own death. And his tone of voice as I usually say he's a good actor but a bad liar.

I told piggy about what happened and he enlightened me... well... may alam rin naman siya sa takbo ng isip ng lalake.mwahaha pwede ba magpakasal nalang kayo kung gusto mo gamitin nyo pa ung singsing na binigay mo sakin. Wait lang I think mas masakit pag nagkasawaan n kayo pag kasal na kayo at mas mabigat yun. So what are you waiting for, pakasal na kayo.. hehehe di ka nga pla naniniwala sa diyos so nevermind wag na kayo pakasal.. gawin nyo nalang ung ginagawa nyo..

so thanks a bunch kayo narin gumanti para sa akin.. hintayin ko nalang yung oras na iiyak kayong pareho..

PS to piggy
<3 you
remember n cnabi ko na he was better actually wala siyang kwenta compared sayo mwwahness..

wag nyo narin alalahanin ang tingin ng iba sa inyo.. basag narin reputasyon nyong dalawa..

*sigh* I know I’ve been ranting too much lately but I just want to release whatever’s left of my feelings. Yes, contradictions and bitterness are evident but they’re all because of the hurt, hatred, disappointment, anger and confusion.

About what I’ve been saying lately, I know I look stupid and I’ll probably laugh my butt off when I read these things in the future. I guess I just want to express all the emotions I feel inside. I guess… it would be easier for me to completely erase everything once I release all the emotions that make me bitter. Yes, I know I’ve been saying a lot of degrading words. No, I don’t think they were used in the wrong way. To make things clear, I know there are a lot of contradictions with my words by saying that I’ve accepted him and that I really loved him and yet calling him names. Well, I did accept him the way he was (or what I think was him). It doesn’t exclude that I’ve already accepted him to be a liar and a cheater. Although that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. There’s just no place for those people in my heart. I guess it’s one of the reasons why I’m so angry and disappointed. I fully trusted him, fully accepted him, fully loved him, adored him, believed in him, encouraged him and many more yet all I was asking for was loyalty. I wasn’t asking for time, blah, blah, blah… all I wanted was for him to love me like he said he did and to remain loyal. Instead he broke my heart and betrayed me. I was trying to make him proud of me, just as I’m trying to make my parents and my friends proud. I was working hard, being busy with this and that. My parents have had a lot of disappointments from my siblings, I want to be the one that would bring them joy and pride. I was the last and I couldn’t afford to fail. As for him, I know that he’s had a lot of disappointments as well… and I wanted him to have something he can be proud of. That someday, he’d proudly say “That’s my girl!” Yes, that’s what I want to give to the people I love, pride and joy. I wanted to finish my studies as soon as possible so that my parents can be proud of me and so that I and the guy can be together. But that’s not how he saw it. To him, it was like I was choosing my studies over him or something else. Well, people are depending on me to finish my studies… people I love. I’m the only one left who can make them proud. He didn’t understand and he didn’t wait. He was thinking of his own happiness and he looked for a substitute. He promised me that he’ll wait for me until I finish. I looked forward to it. I was happy and inspired thinking that he was waiting for me when I finally achieve my liberty. In the end he abandons me. He didn’t wait for me to shine with the light that was meant for him. He didn’t wait for me to blossom into a flower that he can be proud of... something that no other man has. Funny how he wants acceptance and I gave it to him, how he wanted people to see that he was worth something and I believed in him, how he wanted to express his sadness and I was there to listen, how he wanted to be respected and how I adored him… how he wanted to be loved and I gave him my heart. Yet in the end, he didn’t appreciate them… he didn’t see them, he didn’t want them. He threw them away like they were garbage. He was looking for something else when it was already there in front of him… all he had to do was wait. Well… maybe if I give him the opposite he’d appreciate it. So let’s unveil this story to what it really is. Let’s turn all the sweet memories of our years into pretentious drama (let’s exclude the cute, furry, little critters), all the promises into lies, all the selfless love into bitter hatred. Once they’re all distorted, let’s throw them away like the trash they are. I hate how he didn’t see my commitment to the people I love, he didn’t see how I didn’t want to disappoint my parents and that it was the same for him. Tsk, tsk… how I wanted to give him the best life… well… he doesn’t want it anyway so I should try my best to give it to those who want it… those who deserve it. I hate how useless those years are to him, how useless all our fights through all those years were, how he gave up on me and our dreams… all because of his selfishness… well that’s what makes traitors… selfishness. *sigh* Still waiting his/their universal retribution.

Girl: Are you ever going to let go of me?

Boy: I’m not stupid to do that.

Girl: You are sure that we’re going to end up with each other? What if it doesn’t happen?

Boy: Stop asking questions! We’ll end up together!

“If you’re still doubting my decision, read this part of the letter “YES! I am absolutely, positively, 100% sure of my decision.” If I break that, give this letter back to me and I’ll eat this piece by piece in front of you.”

“Never can I imagine my life without you. This promise I take upon myself. A promise that I will bring even to the grave even eternal damnation.”

“My life is yours, take it whenever you want. You’re all that I’m living for, you’re the only reason I am here. And you’re the reason I live with a smile on my face.”

“I will do everything to go back here as soon as possible. I just hope you’re still there for me when I return.”

“It was the first time I’ve felt that somebody cared when I was sick. No, really. You’re the first person who really cared, for as long as I can remember. As you’ve said, I lived a really sad life.”

'tch... yeah I'm such a drama queen right now. >.< well... I'm being myself...